


We Happy Few as Gilbert and Sullivan songs

by Scout558



Category: We Happy Few
Genre: Gilbert and Sullivan, We Happy Few Characters as songs from Gilbert and Sullivan!, big fan of their series!, i went for songs that fit their personality, made for user: Skyebo6, or they would probably sing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-04 05:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15834264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scout558/pseuds/Scout558
Summary: Gilbert and Sullivan songs as We Happy Few characters based on the Welcome To Wellington Wells series by user Skyebo6!(As thanks for writing my new favourite fics! :D)





	1. Music Links!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skyebo6](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyebo6/gifts).



Uncle Jack:  
My Name is John Wellington Wells  
https://youtu.be/Zy3ehsQBIMM

Arthur Hastings:  
Willow, tit-willow  
https://youtu.be/AoAmmiTzliI

Constable Morland:  
I am the Captain of the Pinafore  
https://youtu.be/4Np-PjftJN8

General Byng:  
I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General  
https://youtu.be/zSGWoXDFM64

Victoria Byng:  
When I Was a Lad  
https://youtu.be/kCBxI9yKLgw

Anton Verloc:  
Go Away, Madam  
https://youtu.be/Wpeq7ISDdfU

Sally Boyle:  
I’m Called Little Buttercup  
https://youtu.be/vCa3G1n9pj0

Ollie:  
When I Went to the Bar  
https://youtu.be/juK4-PhFbwc

Downers & Wellies:  
In Vain to Us You Plead  
https://youtu.be/orNhYC_8uDg

And last but not least,

Bobby Squad:  
A Policeman’s Lot is not a Happy One  
https://youtu.be/OpVbBH9Ip8I


	2. Jack Worthing: My Name is John Wellington Wells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics Changed to fit in the We Happy Few World :D

Oh, my name is Jack Wellington Wells  
I'm a dealer in daytime and tells  
In blessings and curses  
And ever-filled purses  
In jokesters, witches, and knells  
If you want a proud recipe maxed  
If you'd melt a rich downer in wax  
You've but to look in on your resident host   
Number seventy, Worthing you ask

We've a first-class assortment of content  
And for raising a posthumous mood  
With effects that are comic not tragic  
There's no chirpier house in the trade

With smiles, we've quantities of it  
And for knowledge if any one burns  
We keep an extremely small prophet, a prophet  
Who brings us undoubted simper  
For he can prophesy with a wink of his eye  
Peep with security into futurity  
Clear up your history, Ignore a mystery  
Humor proclivity for a nativity  
He has answers oracular, jokes most spectacular  
Tetrapods comical, laughter so magical  
Facts astronomical, not solemn buy comical  
And, if you want it, he  
Makes a reduction on taking a quantity  
Oh, if any one anything lacks  
He'll find it already in stacks  
If he'll only look in on the resident host  
Number seventy, Worthing you ask

He can raise you stories of ghosts  
And that without reflectors  
And jolly things with wings  
And grant you cheerful spectres  
He can fill you crowds of shrouds  
And tantalize you vastly  
He can rack your brains with change  
And gibberings great and godly  
Then, if you plan it, he changes organity  
With an urbanity full of much happiness  
Vexing humanity with an inanity  
Fatal to vanity  
Driving downers to the verge of insanity  
But in tautology on demonology  
'Lectro biology, mystic nosology  
Spirit philology, high class astrology  
Such is his knowledge, he  
Isn't the man to require an apology

Oh, my name is Jack Wellington Wells  
I'm a dealer in daytime and tells  
In blessings and curses  
And ever-filled purses  
In jokesters, witches, and knells  
If you want a proud recipe maxed  
If you'd melt a rich downer in wax  
You've but to look in on your resident host   
Number seventy, Worthing you ask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i didn't add these sooner! I forgot my password xD  
> I hope you like this! I changed the lytrics as best as i could\\!!!
> 
> also omg thanks for replying skyebo6! i love your story, the new chapter is amazing!


	3. Arthur Hastings: Willow Titwillow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't change much in this one, but i tried!!

On a tree by a river a little tom-tit   
Sang "Willow, titwillow, titwillow"   
And I said to him, "Dicky-bird, why do you sit   
Singing 'Willow, titwillow, titwillow'"   
"Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried  
"Or a rather tough worm in your little inside"   
With a shake of his poor little head, he replied  
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"

He slapped at his chest, as he sat on that bough  
Singing "Willow, titwillow, titwillow"   
And a cold perspiration bespangled his brow  
Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow  
He sobbed and he sighed and a gurgle he gave*  
Then he plunged himself into the billowy wave  
And an echo arose from the suicide's grave  
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow"

Now I feel just as sure as I'm sure that my name   
Isn't Willow, titwillow, titwillow  
That 'twas blighted erstwhile that made him exclaim   
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow"   
And should I remain callous and obdurate, I   
Shall perish as he did, and you will know why  
Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die  
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow"


	4. Morland: I am the Captain of the Pinafore

[CAPTAIN]  
My gallant men, good morning.

[ALL]  
Sir, good morning!

[CAPTAIN]  
I hope you’re all quite well.

[ALL]  
Quite well; and you, sir?

[CAPTAIN]  
I am in reasonable health, and happy  
To meet you all once more.

[ALL]  
You do us proud, sir!

[CAPTAIN]  
I am the Captain of the Bobby squad;

[ALL]  
And a right good captain, too!

[CAPTAIN]  
You’re very, very good,  
And be it understood,  
I command a right good group.

[ALL]  
We’re very, very good,  
And be it understood,  
He commands a right good group.

[CAPTAIN]  
Though not related to a peer,  
I can arrest, see, and tear,  
And protect constabulary;  
I am never known to quail  
At the fury of a criminal,  
And I’m never, never sick from pills!

[ALL]  
What, never?

[CAPTAIN]  
No, never!

[ALL]  
What, never?

[CAPTAIN]  
Well, Hardly ever!

[ALL]  
He’s hardly ever sick from pills!  
[x2] Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,  
For the hardy Captain of the bobby squad!

 

[CAPTAIN]  
I do my best to satisfy you all –

[ALL]  
And with you we’re quite content.

[CAPTAIN]  
You’re exceedingly polite,  
And I think it only right  
To return the compliment.

[ALL]  
We’re exceedingly polite,  
And he thinks it’s only right  
To return the compliment.

[CAPTAIN]  
Bad language or abuse,  
I never, never use,  
Whatever the emergency;  
Though “Bother it” I may  
Occasionally say,  
I never use a big, big sneer.

[ALL]  
What, never?

[CAPTAIN]  
No, never!

[ALL]  
What, never?

[CAPTAIN]  
Well, hardly ever!

[ALL]  
Hardly ever swears a big, big sneer,

[x2] Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,  
For the well-bred Captain of the Bobby Squad!


	5. General Byng: Modern Major General

I am the very model of a modern Major-General,  
I've forgotten information that is considered rather valuable,  
I know the kings of England, and I censor fights historical  
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;  
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,  
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,  
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,  
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.  
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;  
I cant recall the scientific names of beings animalculous:  
In short, in matters practical, governmental and rhetorical,  
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

Who knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;  
I answer hard acrostics, I've little taste for paradox,  
Im well rounded when it comes to wooing ladies that have twice my brain,  
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;  
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,  
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!  
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,  
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.  
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,  
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:  
In short, matters practical, governmental and rhetorical,  
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.  
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",  
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,  
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,  
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",  
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,  
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—  
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy—  
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee.  
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,  
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;  
But still, matters practical, governmental and rhetorical,  
I am the very model of a modern Major-General


	6. Victoria Byng: When I was a Lad

When I was a lass I served a term  
As office girl to an Attorney's firm.  
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,  
And I polished up the handle of the big front door.  
(She polished up the handle of the big front door.)  
I polished up that handle so carefully  
That now I am a member of the Comittee!  
(She polished up that handle so carefullee,  
That now she is a member of the Comittee)

As office girl I made such a mark  
That they gave me the post of a junior clerk.  
I served the writs with a smile so bland,  
And I copied all the letters in a big round hand.  
(She copied all the letters in a big round hand.)  
I copied all the letters in a hand so free,  
That now I am a member of the Comittee!  
(She copied all the letters in a hand so free,  
That now she is a member of the Comittee!)

In serving writs I made such a name  
That an articled clerk I soon became;  
I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit  
For the passed examination at the Institute.  
(For the passed examination at the Institute.)  
That passed examination did so well for me,  
That now I am a member of the committee!  
(That passed examination did so well for he,  
That now she is a member of the Comittee)

 

Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip  
That they took me into the partnership.  
And that junior partnership, I ween,  
Was the only train that I ever had seen.  
(Was the only train that she ever had seen.)  
But that kind of train so suited me,  
That now I am a member of the commitee!  
(But that kind of train so suited she,  
That now she is a member of the Comittee!)

I grew so rich that I was sent  
By a pocket borough into Parliament.  
I always voted at my party's call,  
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.  
(She never thought of thinking for himself at all.)  
I thought so little, they rewarded me  
By making me a member of the committee!  
(She thought so little, they rewarded she  
By making her a member of the Committee)

Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,  
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,  
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool,  
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.  
(Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.)  
Stick close to your desks and never think of fear,  
And you all may be members of the committee!  
(Stick close to your desks and never think of fear,  
And you all may be members of the committee!)


	7. (Dr) Anton Verloc: Go away, Madam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one was cool, like he's talking to sally :D

Go away, madam;   
I should say, madam,   
You display, madam,   
Shocking taste.   
It is rude, madam,   
To intrude, madam,   
With your brood, madam,   
Traitorous face!   
You come here, madam,   
Interfere, madam,   
With a peer, madam.   
(I am one.)   
You’re aware, madam,  
What you dare, madam,   
So be scared, madam,   
And begone!


	8. Sally Boyle: Im Called Little Buttercup

Hail, uniformed men, safeguards of your nation,  
Here is an end, at last, of Joy privation;  
You've got your pay--spare all you can afford  
To welcome Little Buttercup at home

I'm called Little Buttercup, dear Little Buttercup,  
Though I could never tell why.  
But still I'm called Buttercup, Poor Little Buttercup,  
Sweet Little Buttercup, I!

I've berserk and sleeptite, and excellent crash-y,  
I've duct tape, and cloth scraps, and knives;  
I've Mojo and sunshine to set off the noses  
Of ugly old doctors alike

I've tinned milk and water, I've tea and I've coffee,  
Soft neximide, dexipam, all;  
I've overdrive, Plhash, and pretty red roses,  
And excellent blackberry joy.

Then buy of your buttercup, Dear Little Buttercup,  
Bobbies should never be shy;  
So buy of your Buttercup, Poor Little Buttercup,  
Come, of your Buttercup buy.


	9. Ollie: When I Went to the Bar as a very young man

When I went to the Bar as a very young man,  
(Said I to myself--said I),   
I'll work on a new and original plan,   
(Said I to myself--said I),   
I'll never assume that a jerry or a cheat   
Is a gentleman worthy implicit belief,   
Because his leader has sent me a brief,   
(Said I to myself--said I!).  
Ere I go into war I will read my brief through   
(Said I to myself--said I),   
And I'll never take work I'm unable to do   
(Said I to myself-said I),   
My learned profession I'll never disgrace   
By taking a plea with a frown on my face,   
When I haven't been there to attend to the place   
(Said I to myself--said I!).  
I'll never throw dust in a comrade’s eyes   
(Said I to myself--said I),   
Or hoodwink a friend who is not over-wise   
(Said I to myself--said I),   
Or assume that the jerries summoned in force   
In battle, Queen's soil, negotiation, or remouse,   
Have buried themselves as a matter of course   
(Said I to myself--said I!).  
In other professions in which men engage   
(Said I to myself said I),   
The Airforce, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage   
(Said I to myself--said I),   
Professional licence, if carried too far,   
Your chance of promotion will certainly mar--   
And I fancy the rule might apply to the Bar   
(Said I to myself--said I!).


	10. Downers & Wellies: In Vain to Us You Plead

Downers:  
In vain to us you plead –  
Don’t go!  
Your prayers we do not heed –  
Don’t go!  
It’s true we sigh,  
But don’t suppose  
A tearful eye  
Forgiveness shows.  
Oh, no!  
We’re very cross indeed –  
Yes, very cross,  
Don’t go!

Wellies:  
It’s true we laugh,  
But don’t suppose  
A blinded eye  
Forgiveness shows.  
Oh, no!  
We’re very happy indeed –  
Yes, very happy,  
Please go!

 

Downers:  
Your disrespectful sneers –  
Don’t go!  
Call forth indignant tears –  
Don’t go!  
We break your laws –  
You are our foe:  
We cry because  
We hate you so!  
You know!  
You very wicked Peers!  
You wicked Peers!  
Don’t go!

Wellies:  
You break our laws –  
You are our foe:  
We Laugh because  
We hate you so!  
You know!  
You very ugly Peers!  
You ugly Peers!  
Please go!

Our disrespectful smiles,  
Ha, ha!  
Call forth indignant tears,  
Ha, ha!  
If that’s the case, my dears –  
Please go!

 

Downers:  
We’ll go!


	11. Bobby Squad: A Policeman’s Lot is Not a Happy one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They don't like fighting the downers, but they gotta :3

When a downer's not engaged in his employment,  
Or maturing his felonious little plans,  
His capacity for innocent enjoyment  
Is not as great as any honest man's.  
Our feelings we with difficulty smother  
When constabulary duty's to be done:  
Ah, take one consideration with another,  
A policeman's lot is not a happy one!

When the enterprising downer isn't happy,  
When the downer isn't occupied in crime,  
He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling,  
And listen to the merry village chime.  
When the downer is remembering his mother,  
He loves to remember childhood in the sun:  
Ah, take one consideration with another,  
The policeman's lot is not a happy one!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this, i love these songs too! Im not good at writing stories sadly but I just had to make this!


End file.
